The Onion: ‘Planned Parenthood Has Enough Fetus Cash to Keep Going’

By Erin Aitcheson

Onion1reSome things hit a little too close to home—especially if you’re a humorless liberal who doesn’t get satire unless it’s aimed at conservatives.

That being said, yesterday The Onion came out with the headline ‘Defunded Planned Parenthood Reassures Supporters It Has Enough Fetus Cash To Keep Going’ in light of Texas barring Medicaid funds to Planned Parenthood.

It’s true, The Onion actually dared to poke fun at the left’s precious abortion provider. The short piece accompanying the headline is as followed:

WASHINGTON—Following the announcement by Texas state officials to cut Medicaid funding for the nonprofit organization, Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards assured supporters Tuesday that it has plenty of fetus cash to keep going for a while. “While the decision by Texas to eliminate taxpayer funding for Planned Parenthood is unfortunate, I want everyone to know that we have an ample supply of sweet baby-organ cabbage to continue providing our services,” said Richards, adding that the reproductive and maternal health organization had enough fetal-tissue scratch to keep the doors open for the foreseeable future. “Lawmakers remain determined to deny reproductive health care to women in need, and if not for our golden baby-parts goose, they well may have succeeded. But rest assured that with our mad stacks of aborted-fetus bucks, the future of Planned Parenthood is as secure as ever.” Richards added that even as she was speaking, Planned Parenthood employees were busy squeezing some extra green out of whatever embryos they had left in the back.

Yes, The Onion actually went there. And just like Pavlov’s dog, liberals come rushing to the defense of Planned Parenthood in typical fashion. Irate Lefties took to twitter to rebuke The Onion for its unthinkable sin of going after the sainted baby killing chain.





Onion7 (1)

It’s a classic showing of how liberals are so quick to dish it out but when it’s them on the other end of things, they certainly can’t take it. Although the piece is only satire it does bear a striking resemblance to the true nature of Planned Parenthood and its callous practices.

Editor’s note. This appeared at and is reprinted with permission.