“Most women have no concept that abortion can hurt men”
By Dave Andrusko
The entire topic of men and abortion is—to state the obvious—underanalysed and underappreciated. But there is hope that we can remedy this collective blindspot.
I don’t believe I’ve even seen a more powerful representation of the price men pay when their unborn children are aborted, especially over their objections. It was a graphic that appeared a while back in the Daily Telegraph.
It’s a puzzle showing a man holding a bottle about to feed a little baby.
Only the pieces where the baby should be are missing.
The very sympathetic story, written by Corrine Barraclough, is tellingly headlined, “Piecing together the pain of loss for men after abortion.”
Here’s her lead which nicely sets the reader up for a series of surprises:
THERE are some times in life when you don’t join the dots until you have a conversation that’s like switching on a series of light bulbs.
This week, I had one of those. I put down the phone absolutely stunned.
We know male suicide rates are soaring.
Did you know male suicides and abortion-related mental illness are interrelated? Neither did I. It’s poorly understood by professionals too.
“Most suicide counsellors aren’t trained to identify abortion trauma,” Julie Cook, national director of Abortion Grief Australia (AGA) tells me.
Cook goes on to explain why, like almost everyone else, Barraclough hadn’t connected the dots. Cook says
“In fact, the vast majority aren’t even aware that it can be an issue for men. Most women have no concept that abortion can hurt men.
“Irrespective of the role the male played in the abortion, women often feel abandoned and, on an emotional level, blame the male for the abortion outcome.”
To which Barraclough commonsensically (but counter-culturally) adds, “Research suggests that men can experience grief and emotional distress in relation to abortion. That makes sense, they’re human beings too.”
The rest of her fine post explains the research that backs up the association between young men, depression, and abortion. Take a few minutes and read “Piecing together the pain of loss for men after abortion.”
Perhaps you’ll see, as I saw, how intuitive it is that men could be dramatically affected by the loss of a child–that (as Cook said) “Male suicides can be both directly and indirectly related to abortion.”
What is striking in the story is that these suicides are far more common than we would expect. Barraclough observes
The stories are countless and make my blood run cold. This is a heartbreaking ocean of pain I had no idea existed.
As a woman, I wonder if I have only ever thought of abortion from one side of the fence?