By Erik Soderstrom
Editor’s note. Superstore follows the employees of Cloud 9, a big-box store. The following appeared at newsbusters.org.
After making racist jokes in a previous episode, the new NBC comedy Superstore opened the episode titled “Mannequin” with jokes about abortion and Planned Parenthood.
Praised by Jonah (Ben Feldman) for choosing to keep her baby despite still being in high school, Cheyenne (Nichole Bloom) casually admits she’s only keeping her baby because she “couldn’t get a ride to Planned Parenthood.” (Cue the pro-abortion feminist screams about abortion access and the need for late term abortions.) Jonah helpfully offers to give her a ride, prompting store manager Glenn (Mark McKinney) to chime in, “I’d prefer if you didn’t offer to shuttle our employees to the abortion clinic.”
How often do you hear Planned Parenthood referred to as an “abortion clinic” in the media rather than as a “reproductive health care provider?” Planned Parenthood hates the word abortion, why else would they focus on euphemisms like “women’s health” and claim that “only” 3 percent of their services are abortion? While other shows spread the propaganda Planned Parenthood wants you to hear about what they do, Superstore just comes right out and calls it what it is, “Abortion, abortion, abortion, abortion!”
Jonah: I didn’t mean you look pregnant. I just meant—
Garrett: Eject. Eject!
Jonah: I didn’t know that you had a child. I–listen–that’s– I think that’s beautiful. Really, I’m in awe of single mothers, so…
Amy: I’m married.
Garrett: Ooh! You should’ve just ejected, man.
Cheyenne: Why are you in awe of single mothers?
Jonah: I just think it’s–it’s very brave to have a child, especially at your age.
Cheyenne: Well, I didn’t set out to have a baby. Came from sex.
Jonah: Right. Sure. Uh, but you–you bravely made the decision to go through with it.
Cheyenne: Well, I couldn’t get a ride to Planned Parenthood.
Jonah: Well, if you ever need one in the future.
Glenn: Jonah, I’d prefer if you didn’t offer to shuttle our employees to the abortion clinic.
Jonah: No, I meant rides in general.
Dina: What if it was just for a pap smear? Could I get a ride for that? They recommend one a year, but I like to go extra. Make sure everything’s up to code.
Glenn: Okay. I’m just gonna say it. I’m fine with you driving your coworkers anywhere except the abortion clinic.
Dina: Damn it, Glenn, you cannot talk about your personal feelings on abortion in the workplace.
Glenn: I didn’t bring up abortion.
Dina: Oh, keep tempting me.
Glenn: He did!
Dina: You are begging me to–
Glenn: I am allowed to say the word abortion.
Dina: I will write you up so hard!
Dina: I’m recording this entire conversation.
Glenn: Abortion, abortion, abortion, abortion!
Dina: Thank you very much. You dug your own grave.
Cheyenne’s decision to keep her child—if we can even call it a decision—sets up the running joke of the episode as the soon-to-be teen mother tries to decide what to do with her baby. When Cheyenne admits she’s considering adoption, store manager Glenn swoops in to stake his claim on the unborn baby.
“I’ve raised a lot of foster children,” Glenn explains, “but it’s as if you’ve been driving used cars your whole life. Just once it would be nice to experience a brand-new one, straight from the factory, that hasn’t been all dinged up.” That’s right, NBC has the Christian conservative character compare foster children to used cars.
But Glenn isn’t the only Cloud 9 team member who wants to adopt, and he soon finds himself in an absurd contest with Dina (Lauren Ash who handles security and HR for Cloud 9) to win custody of Cheyenne’s baby, a battle that quickly devolves into flat out bribery. Ultimately, both head home disappointed when Cheyenne decides what’s best for the baby is to raise the child herself with her fiancée and wannabe rapper, Bo (Johnny Pemberton).
Meanwhile Planned Parenthood weeps at the loss of another potential abortion cu$tomer.