The following was adapted from a speech given by Celeste Hufford, Birthright of Woodbridge Co-Director, at a fundraiser held at St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Church in Virginia.
Last year I spoke to you about the main mission and principles that guide Birthright. This year I would like to share with you a more personal story about my friend Denise.
I call Denise my friend because we became quite close during the past few months. She had come to us before, for assistance with her first child, a little girl. She returned last summer and began a long, frustrating search for prenatal care. By the time she was seen for her first prenatal visit, Denise was already in her second trimester. But there was something wrong. The doctors noticed a large growth on her hip, and they immediately referred her to a high-risk clinic. The specialists discovered that the growth was a very aggressive cancer. They urged her to undergo an abortion without delay, so that she could begin chemotherapy at once.
But Denise had already heard a heartbeat. Like a fearless tigress determined to protect her cub, she told the doctors she wanted to wait until her baby was viable and could be delivered early, but safely. Her son was born in November.
In December we helped Denise with Christmas presents, clothes, and diapers for her daughter and new son. But chemotherapy was taking its toll on her, and she had no stable place to live. A shelter took the family in briefly, only to have to reassign their beds when Denise had to be readmitted to the hospital for chemo. At one point Denise, her infant son, and her boyfriend all had to be hospitalized at the same time—each for a different reason. Her desperate situation was very much like a modern-day version of the Book of Job.
Concerned that Denise’s white blood cell count might fall too low for her to fight an infection during the rampant flu season, we gently suggested that our legal representative on the Birthright board would be willing to help her sort through legal end-of-life issues. Denise replied that she would think it over and let us know.
In January, when her newborn was just two months old, Denise called us from the hospital and said she was ready to meet with us. We spent a number of hours talking with her to find out what her wishes were. She was anxious to get home to celebrate her daughter’s third birthday. We told her that we would help her to hold a party for her daughter, whether we had to do it in the hospital, or at Birthright. And throw a party we did! At Denise’s request, the party was held at the Birthright office. Volunteers from the Columbiettes at St. Francis of Assisi Parish brought presents and decorations, and Sam’s Club donated a lovely “Dora the Explorer” cake. Special “Build a Bear” teddies with recordings by Denise were given to her children so they would always remember their mother’s voice. We were able to give Denise the party she wanted to have.
Denise also mentioned another wish. She knew no family portrait existed, and she wanted her children to have a picture of them all together. A week later we located a professional photographer to take pictures of this special family. The photographer set up her studio in the Birthright office. She was so touched by Denise that she donated all of the photos, made keepsake albums for each child, and began an online fundraising campaign to assist the family.
At the end of February, Denise was readmitted to the hospital for the last time. Until she lost consciousness, she never gave up the fight. Several Birthright volunteers visited her until the very end and helped to facilitate funeral arrangements for the family.
I will never forget this young, courageous woman who’d had such a hard life, but whose children meant everything to her. I will also never forget the love and determination of our volunteers to walk with this beautiful woman the painful road she had to walk. For volunteers at Birthright, love means “we love them both”—mother and child.