By Dave Andrusko
The post is so stunning, so beautifully written, so intense that all I can say is that rewire news was the last place in this galaxy that I expected to read, “Only Through Becoming a Parent Have I Been Able to Let Go of My Grief at Losing My Own,” which I re-read this morning.
Rewire is the new name for the second iteration of the dismal pro-abortion site Rhrealitycheck.org. The re-named site is just as hysterically pro-abortion, just as vicious in its treatment of our Movement as its predecessor. But…. then….out of the blue….comes …. This magnificent post by Sharona Coutts.
And because I really do want you read her entire tribute to her father, who passed away 24 years ago, and wonder at the power of healing that came in the form of her child who was born late [in 2015], I will highlight just three of multiple points I could make.
1. I recall a celebration of life for a universally loved and admired family member that I attended. Perhaps because this man’s children loved him with the same passionate intensity that Coutts loved her father, I could more fully appreciate how the first ten years following his death “were a mix of depression, anxiety, and an all-encompassing bewilderment that these emotions were now cascading over me, unmitigated, untidy, unpredictable.”
I recognized a familiar refrain: “If he came back. I caught myself in that delinquent thought. Consciously, you know these things—he’s dead, he’s gone, he will never, ever be back—but your subconscious rebels, riots even.”
2. Having read so many stories and personal accounts of people who just gave up after the passing of the person who gave their life coherence, I couldn’t help but think just how dark some of the days must have been for Coutts. You read something like the following and you realize the real danger of assisted suicide, particularly for people who do not have Coutts’ inner resources:
I did and said things that I found excruciatingly embarrassing, because I could no longer hold myself under such tight, absolute control. Like water in an old pipe, the emotions had found ways to leak out at weak points. At times, I felt my structural integrity was compromised. I was, in short, afraid that I was about to collapse. Therapists would ask, “And what would happen if you did collapse?” and I would stare at them, in disbelief at the premise of the question: That will not happen. Cannot happen.
3. On the anniversary of her father’s death Coutts makes clear she wanted to share a celebration.
“Not of my birthday as a child of grief, but a different birthday: the birth of my daughter late last year. For me, it has only been through becoming a parent that I have been able to let go of the grief over my own parent.
Because “Never in my life have I lived so joyously in the present, looking forward to every increment of the day.”
Because “Having a baby has brought me back to the present in the most profound way I could ever imagine. In fact, I couldn’t imagine it; it has taken me by surprise. Because I know she will need to eat, and I will feed her, I know I will see her every few hours. And I actively, constantly, intensely look forward to that.”
And because “To be able to share it with a partner who is just as overjoyed and present is more than I ever hoped to have. I know that my daughter will have a love for her father just as strong as mine was for the one I lost.”
Read her profoundly moving post and share it with others.