How to tell family and friends you are no longer pro-abortion but pro-life

By Dave Andrusko

improlifeThe story I wrote today [“The lessons a formerly pro-choice nursing instructor can teach us all”] about a formerly pro-choice nursing instructor who had come to the light reminded me how we probably don’t write as often as we should at National Right to Life News Today about something we are ecstatic over when it happens: when someone sheds their pro-abortion garments and puts on pro-life garb

As I was finishing the story, I thought back to a post that appeared at Live Action News, written by Kristen Hatten, that I read a couple of years back. She made a number of fascinating points about how you can break the news that you’ve become pro-life, particularly to people with whom you previously shared a commitment to “abortion rights.” Before we quickly summarize Hatten’s suggestions, I’d like to quote from an early paragraph:

“It’s difficult now to describe the feeling I had then, in the winter of 2006, but I knew in my gut that a lot of things were about to change. As a recent convert, it had never occurred to me how much belief in abortion ‘rights’ was part and parcel with the lifestyle I was leading then.”

I begin with this because it helps us remember that those on the other side may have built much of who they are around a commitment to “choice.” Why is that worth mentioning?

Because breaking with that “lifestyle,” of which being pro-abortion is a component requires courage—and often a hand extended in friendship by a pro-lifer makes that transition possible.

Hatten makes it clear that– just as she had anticipated–becoming pro-life was not well-received by those she was running with in those days. But, as she put it,

“If you’re struggling with how to reveal your pro-life beliefs to some or all of your family, friends, and peers – or just want to be more public about your views on abortion – here are a few ideas about how to do it.”

There is nothing magical about her list, but it’s a great place to start. In each category she helpfully lists advantages and disadvantages.

1. Social media (such as Twitter and Facebook)

2. Face to face

3. Subtle and gradual (perhaps a pro-life Tee Shirt)

4. And (tongue-in-cheek) “There are other options for letting everybody know you’re cool with letting fetuses live: mass text or e-mail, skywriting, you name it.”


Hatten ends by saying there are two great advantages with any method.

“[O]ne, you’ll feel a profound sense of relief once it’s over with, in no small part because you’re being true to yourself and your beliefs.

“Two, you’re about to make a lot of new friends. Pro-lifers are the salt of the earth, the kindest people you’ll ever meet, and the rare exceptions only prove the rule.”

Her conclusion is very, very important. Once you’ve made the plunge, “there are about a million ways to get involved. Take your talents and put them to work for life.”

Editor’s note. If you want to peruse stories all day long, go directly to and/or follow me on Twitter at